Tuesday 19 December 2017

July to now...

I have just been made aware that some people have wondered where I was as I haven't posted since last July, and were wondering whether I was ok or not.

I have been back at work full time since then and am working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day - either doing 9-5 or 12-8 and every 6th weekend so have been struggling to find the time to write, I have also been in a different place to where I was when this all started and haven't felt the need to write.

I finished chemotherapy in September thank goodness, it wasn't fun at all but it's over now. I've had 2 MRI scans recently, both of these have shown a small amount of tumour that is visible but no longer measurable which is brilliant given that there was about 2 cubic cm left in there that was wrapped around a vein.

My oncologist said very early on that the radiotherapy and chemotherapy would not get rid of the tumour, simply delay any regrowth therefore I believe that it must be something to do with everything else that I have been doing - between the juicing, diet change, supplements, CBD oil, exercise and keeping mentally active, something has clearly worked. I also have been trying to avoid stress however that's far easier said than done in real life!

We have been on holiday to Cyprus for a lovely week away where we both relaxed, enjoyed the sunshine and re-charged our batteries in the sunshine and are now getting ready for Christmas.

For everyone who has read my blog and followed me through this difficult time, thank you all for your positive thoughts and kind wishes.

I wish you all good health and happiness.

Saturday 8 July 2017

19th June - 8th July


This was the start of my first 5 day week. I had agreed with my boss that I would continue to build my hours up steadily and this week I would start to do 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. I also changed my shift pattern slightly so that when my team are on day shifts I do 10-4, when they are on late shifts I will do 12-6. With my team being on lates I would be doing 12-6 this week however Harry was still at the vet on Monday and Friday so I chose to do 10-4 these 2 days.

Monday went without a hitch, the car was due for MOT so Lel dropped it on the way to work and collected it on the way home, fully passed so good for selling!! Work was normal and at the vets they were very happy with Harry's nose which was good.

Tuesday was my first 12-6 and by 5 I was exhausted and ready for home. I kept going till about 5.30 when I packed down as my brain had for the first time, turned off properly and when people were asking me things, I wasn't even hearing words any more, just sound. Lel collected me at 6 and I went home and just sat. I was wiped out. It's funny what the extra 2 hours later at work does for me, I'm clearly so much better in the mornings and this is something I need to be aware of when I extend my hours, which way works best for me.. I definitely won't be able to work after 8 for a long time!! Sandra mentioned to me that it took her 3 years post chemo to feel normal again so figure that if I need my shifts changing then it can't be a problem and occupational health should be able to sort this for me.

Wednesday I felt a bit better and more able to work until 6, I'd had a nap before I went into work so could work through and was better able to concentrate on what I needed to do. I was fine again on Thursday and Friday worked a 10-4 as we had to go to the vets again for Harry. 

We had a quiet weekend in, the first one for a month given Otley show, 2 trips to get the camper van and then Swansea and we both needed the break.  We ordered a bench for the garden and a tree but other than that, I have no idea what we got up to!

Monday was a week of 10-4's, still with trips to the vets for Harry's bum, on Wednesday I went over to see Sue as I felt I hadn't had a session for some long time and I was a bit worried about my ongoing weight loss and my peripheral neuropathy. She is so good to build me up and remind me that I'm doing things right. She always reminds me of my 'good pot' that I put things in, even the most basic things can go in there, things that make me smile and laugh so when I have a slightly less good day then I don't feel too worn out. 

On Thursday we had a new system go live at work, this was a complete change with computer and phone systems changing and had been planned for and training had been going on for this since before I went off last year. It was a huge change to how we work and we had all been prepped to expect things to go wrong!! As it was, things went as smoothly as could be expected. 

Friday I was meant to be on on-line work however it always happens that you end up doing duty when the team managers are doing it as they always wander off on the phone, usually it wouldn't be a problem however when learning a new system this was a bit trickier and made me a bit frustrated. I was convinced the piece of work I had done would be sent back as it was submitted in a rush but seemed to be all ok. We were back over at the vets for our last of 2 checks per week, seeing them only once the following week for our final laser session

The bench had arrived during the week and I had tried to put it together and managed to get 2 huge blisters, Lel had take pity and bought a new ratchet screwdriver to make it quicker. Between us, me reading the instructions for the first time ever and them being wrong, we put it together the wrong way round. 

Saturday I had offered to go to the Manchester Museum with Oliver as Jayne was having her hair cut. It ended up with all of us going which was fine. We had a fantastic lunch at the cafe next to it then Oliver went to the loo and saw the dinosaur skeleton in the entrance hall. At that point he didn't want to go in as he was scared by it. I told him that Lel and I were going in, and soon after Jayne brought him through into the shop where the wonderful lady on the til told him that there were frogs and got him all interested in these. We headed up towards the vivarium then managed a look at everything else on the way back, as well as looping round to the space area and the T-rex skeleton. No wonder he was always so grumpy, his arms are too short to clean his teeth!! Well I found myself funny! Em was staying that night as she was at college and brought a curry from Sanskruti. We were both a bit full having had a piece of cake at 3.30 before leaving the museum cafe. The GF, VG chocolate cake was too much of a temptation for me to refuse!! And it was amazing, tasted just like dairy milk... I can never resist a Sanskruti curry though...

On Sunday morning, having re-done the bench, we went and bought some paint for it. I wanted bright, Lel wanted muted however, on one occasion having said to her that she usually gets her own way on decorating things, and this has clearly sunk in, she's very aware of it so repeated this back to me. We spent most of the day painting it giving it a good 2 coats of bright blue paint and allowing it time to dry. In the evening we put it outside, the grass was too wet to cut with the strimmer and our new lawnmower so I got the garden shears out and cut it. It was so much fun and I laughed at myself the whole time! Think Lel did too, mum talks about cutting a lawn with scissors, so glad I had shears. I was quite proud of the end result. We also planted the tree - a weeping Cherry Tree that had also arrived during the week.

I was back on 12-6's this week therefore was happy to have a nap in the morning on Monday before I went in to work. When I got in, the duty manager was very glad to see me, always nice when that happens and it was good to do a full shift and be useful. The systems were still causing problems and everything taking twice as long as before however I was getting my head round them and trying to correct any errors or send it back if it was significant, however I know how fraught people currently are and having work sent back doesn't help this, people are trying as hard as they can, and some find systems really tricky. I'm lucky, I don't, I'm happy with them and don't get stressed by it. Tuesday and Wednesday went relatively easily, I could feel I was getting tired so spoke to my boss and asked for Friday off. She's very aware that I have to look after myself and knows how hard I've worked this week and doesn't want me to get ill. By Thursday evening I knew I'd done the right thing as I was so tired and frustrated I nearly cried in front of a practitioner, time for a day off! We headed to the vets where Harry's chemo was prescribed to us, and the vet agreed we could start it as soon as we want. Lel and I want his bum to be totally healed therefore we will wait till next week when the wound has hopefully gone.. He has no idea there is anything wrong with him, he's so happy and full of life which is how we hope he'll stay.

So that takes me to yesterday when I cleaned, cut the grass, did the washing and had a lovely day relaxing and now to today, Lel is in Chester at a 100year celebration of her school with all her old school friends. I'm just doing this and washing today whilst having a disco via phone with Iona who is cleaning. I love days like this, they re-charge my batteries and put things in my good pot. 

12th June - 18th June

This was my last week of 4 days a week at work so I was making the most of it. My nausea had pretty much gone and on Monday night we were back over in Leeds to see Brendan for a decision regarding Harry's nose and whether we remove the lump. As he says, had we not had his recent history then we would have been happy to leave it but given his mast best tumour then the best thing we can do is get it taken off, we booked in for early Thursday morning to drop him off before work.

Tuesday and Wednesday went without incident at work and on Thursday morning at 6.30 mum and dad turned up to take us to the vets. I had realised that we had never left Jade alone all day and was worried how she would react so asked that they take her back to their house after we dropped Harry off and Lel and I would collect her on the way home having collected Harry. We dropped Harry in at 8.15 with the nurses as I had signed all the forms the last time we were there.

At 3 Hazel phoned to say that he had done really well and was out of surgery being cleaned up.  He had had a slight 'turn' but being Harry they had left a nurse with him constantly to ensure that he was ok and Catherine had sat with him all day after his op. We arrived at the vets at about 6.15 and mum and dad had brought Jade over so we didn't need to drive to Skipton as well, so very kind of them. We put Jade in the car and went in to get Harry. Catherine called us in for a chat telling us how he was, how his surgery had gone and described his funny turn - he'd gone all 'panting and stressed' and they'd worried due to his previous fainting episode. She went back through and took out his canulars and brought him through to us. The cut on his nose was tiny, Brendan had yet again done a fabulous job..  We were booked in for Monday to come back for his bum checking so this fit a post surgery nurse check up in perfectly. On getting him home he was whining quite a lot and it seemed he was still 'out of it' from the surgery so he had a quiet night with no evening walk!

In true style we had booked to head to see Iona on the following day (we had first been due to go the week he had his second surgery post tumour but he had been far too poorly at that point still) and decided that he would be well enough for us to go. Emma, bless her, worked from home for the day and came over to sit with them. He was quite whingy in the morning and I wasn't sure if it was still anaesthetic wearing off or whether he was still in pain. It could be a cumulation of 3 anaesthetics in 8 weeks although this one only lasted 20 minutes.

At around 9.30 mum and dad turned up, they'd left Polly at the end of the road as they didn't want to try and get her round the corners of the block. We piled in and started what should have been a 5 hour journey including breaks to get down to Swansea. Sadly traffic though otherwise and at 7.15 we pulled up outside Iona's house. It was amazing to finally meet someone that I'd been talking to for the past 6 months. We headed out with her dogs which are totally gorgeous and had a lovely walk in the woods, down to a pond and round the grounds of an old mansion. Once back to hers we had a chippy dinner which was the best way to end the day before Simon driving us back to the van site. Lel and I slept really well which surprised us both.

We were up and breakfasted by 8.30 and sat outside enjoying a drink. This really showed us why the camper is going to be brilliant. I want to call her Freda after Lel's mum but Lel isn't sure.. The American versions of the Bongo are called Freda's so it seems to fit to me but I'll respect her on this one.

At 9.30, Iona text to say they were on their way so we headed over the entrance to wait. She turned up bearing gifts of a plant and some seeds. We all piled into Poly and set off towards Camarthen to Llansteffan to wander in the castle and go on the beach estuary for a walk. We had a lovely walk then had chips on the sea front. They were so darned good, Lel and Iona had scampi and chips, I treated myself to onion rings and chips, dad had a burger and chips, mum had chips and peas. It was a lovely day where we just chilled out and enjoyed each other's company. We headed from there over to The Mumbles which Lel remembered from Jayne being at uni in Swansea. We had a walk to the lifeboat launch, left dad in the van to sleep whilst we went up the hill opposite to look over the bay. Whilst up there, the lifeboat towed a boat in. We must have missed the launch by minutes which was sad but it was good to watch from the hillside.

From here we headed back into Swansea and went for dinner at Zinco lounge where we all had a really good meal. Good atmosphere, good food, good friends. The perfect end to a very good day. I had sadly managed to sunburn my head though which felt a bit idiotic.. We had all gotten a bit pink but I felt a fool by burning my head. We dropped Iona off at her home and arranged to see her next morning before we left.

On the Sunday morning, we were all very aware that we had a long journey to get home however I was hoping we could call in again, given that we were so much closer than usual and it would be a while before we would get to catch up again in person. We had a drink and a doggy hug, as well as a hug from her as we left and set off back after a good chat, leaving round 11.30. We made it back up to Salford at 6.30, having had 2 stops so did much better. Poor mum and dad still had to drive an hour and a half to get home from here but we all had had a fabulous weekend. I hope Iona did as much as we did, it was brilliant and I can't wait till we catch up again.

5th June - 11th June

It was only a short week at work the following one with Wednesday being chemo. Monday and Tuesday went as normal and on Wednesday we headed over around 7.30 to Christies. I got my blood taken then waited and waited. My appointment was at 10.30 and by 11.00 we were still waiting. At 11.15 I spoke to one of the nurses that we see whenever we go and asked him how long we were likely to be, he told us we were next and shortly afterwards we were taken through, I was weighed (lost another 5kgs) and told that Dr Tran was away therefore we would see her registrar (again), I do like it when this happens as they are always lovely!

A lovely doctor came through and asked me how I was, saying that they were aware that I had had a reaction to the Procarbazine and that a decision had been made for me to come off it from this point on. I showed her the photos that we had taken and she said it was one of the worst cases that she had ever seen as a reaction and that I 'don't do things by halves!' I asked her what the difference would make regarding long term outcome without the Procarbazine and she was very honest saying that they couldn't tell me that but that they could say, if I continued on it, there was a high chance I wouldn't be breathing that evening. I agreed with her to go for the more pressing and definite of the concerns and to come off the Procarbazine.

I asked her to explain my last scan if she could as I didn't understand what we had been told - and she was really friendly so I felt we could. Her explanation was that the tumour looked a bit 'less bad' than the time before and like a burn when immediately done looks bright and vivid, a few days later it looks less bad. I still didn't fully understand but as she says, it's positive so that's the main thing.

We headed over to Maggie's and had a brew and sat around for a while, at 1.30 or so the ward phoned to say that they were ready for me and to go over. The nurse hooked me up with my canular to a flush and went to get my chemo. She had gone in a different vein this time and it went in so much easier. She soon came back soon after saying that someone had cancelled it all and it would take an hour to come through again therefore I had to have a bag of flush through. My vein was moving really quickly and after 10 mins the small flush was nearly empty. I called her back and she put a large bag on, saying that there would be plenty in it. By the time she came back with my chemo drip it was nearly empty! Clearly my veins were playing well, as opposed to the first time when it took double the time to get it through. They've obviously worked out what it's all about these days! We seemed to have missed lunch so I asked Lel if she would go to the canteen and get something. She came back with soup and a sandwich which was very well received and makes the time go faster. I always find it hard seeing people linked up to chemo eating chocolate biscuits and sweets, but the fact that these are recommended by the nurses also does my head in. I kind of get that they want you to keep your weight on however processed sugar?? Really??

On getting home we had a small dinner and I took my second chemo, then the nausea started. I was determined not to be sick this time so took all 3 sorts of my antiemetics as well as my homeopathic versions too. I was not going to be ill! It's only one tablet so how dare it make me feel like this? It is not going to win! I went to bed with a bowl just in case but slept through with no issues.

The following day the nausea continued, all day and by the time Lel came home to get the dogs to the vets I wasn't sure how I was going to make it in the car for the trip. I decided to put my big girl pants on, pull them up and get a grip of myself! I took a couple more antiemetics and put a bottle of water in the car and we headed over to Leeds. As Harry was in having his bum lasered and re-dressed Brendan popped out and invited us in for a chat, saying that we would hold the appointment for Thursday but make a decision on Monday as to whether we would do it or not.

On Friday the 9th I had an MRI at 2.30 so Lel had chosen to take the day off so we could have a nice gentle one together. I was quite relaxed about it but have a feeling that when it comes round the next chemo and results day then I may not be quite so much so. I've not been as good with my diet or exercise and I have been more stressed because of Harry so if all of those things do assist with healing then I've not had the best couple of months...

On Saturday morning, early we headed over to mum and dads as we were off to collect the camper and Elizabeth wanted us there as early as possible. We landed round 11 and did all the paperwork etc. We had sorted insurance the previous week and transferred the Volvo into dad's name so he could sell it for us, as well as him take it onto his multi-car insurance policy for little extra cost. After collecting the van we went into Thirsk, to the cafe and the lady came over and asked us if we'd bought her. It was so lovely of her to remember and whilst in there I bought a picture I'd seen the previous week for Iona as it felt right.  She had been part of my decision making to buy the camper and has been so supportive for the last 6 months that I wanted to get her something from that cafe.

On the way home we looked for a garage to top up the LPG and drove to Keighley to top up there. This took a while as it's been a long time since I last did it on the old work cars and remember it being very tricky at the time. I think we're going to get some gloves as the gas kicks back but at 49.9p per litre, a whole tank of 50L being less than £25 was lovely!

Having got her home, dad and I had a good look over her, topped the battery water up and other such things that we have always done on cars together. With getting a new car, I wondered if Isla would like us to collect her from her dad's house so suggested this, as well as getting chips from the veggie chippy in Ilkley! We scooped her on her way home with chips and her first comment was 'it smells funny' - we think that was the chips!! But she was very impressed with it. We were a little concerned as we couldn't get it to change into 4th gear and it seemed stuck in 3rd... Dad says there's a technique but we have still to learn it. Saturday night we slept in Polly - mum and dad's van, as Isla was staying there too, it was lovely and quiet and other than the bed being a bit lumpy we had a lovely sleep, woken by the birds as opposed to Harry's barking or whining for a change!! We all went out for lunch to the Castle, and I continued on my antiemetics. This time's chemo has really knocked me sick. I couldn't eat at all until Friday but Saturday and Sunday were a lot more like normal.

After lunch we set off back home to Salford in the car, leaving the camper - who we still have to name - on the drive for a valet, wheel arches de-rusting and lining, new radio fitting, new fog light fitting and general 'dad' work doing on her.

20th May - 4th June

So, it's been a long time since my last update and I've realised that I'm letting this lapse a little therefore it's going to be shorter from now (8th July) order for me to keep up to date easier.

The 20th of May was Otley show and was a fabulous day. The weather held off until just after lunch giving us time to wander round the livestock, see the shires, watch a bird of prey demonstration and 2 lads on motocross bikes doing the most ridiculous tricks. Basically, we had the sort of day that we would have done pre cancer and it was lovely.

Work the following week continued with no major incidents, I had finally got hold of the clinic regarding my colposcopy and went on the 24th to Salford Royal where we saw a lovely consultant who put me so at ease that the whole procedure went painlessly.

I had been thinking for a few days about getting a camper van and maybe selling the car. I had mentioned this to dad and he suggested a Mazda Bongo as they are small enough to park as a normal car and can be used on a daily basis without being too large to manoeuvre. I had therefore started looking as I am very aware that it would be lovely to clear off on a weekend after work with the dogs and a camper would make this so much easier..

Whilst searching for Bongos I had found one in Thirsk and rather cheekily asked mum and dad if they wouldn't mind looking in the first instance as if it was no good it was a long way for us to drive - on the 28th they headed over to have a look, and arranged for us to be going the following weekend saying that it was nice and clean with good price and good mileage.

Due to this, I decided that it was finally time to give Lel the garden that she has wanted for such a long time.  Being bank holiday weekend (27th - 28th May) then I figured it was a good time to do it as any. With not working on Friday 26th I thought I would make a start and dig out the gravel edging and some tree roots. It was about 24 degrees by 10am and having done about an hour and only managed a foot or so I was very grateful when Janice (our neighbour across the road) sent one of her sons to help with this. Both her twin boys are 35ish, gym bunnies and very tanned. Bless him, within an hour he had one whole side dug out and was on with the second one, then digging out tree roots, too and hurling them into the skip at high speed - all with no shirt on!!

On the Saturday, Lel was off over to spend the day with Jayne and Oliver in the afternoon so in the morning we headed over to Homebase to buy turf. We had had 2 tonnes of top soil delivered on Friday evening, as well as the skip that was delivered on the Thursday night however we now needed things to re-build the garden with. We already had some plants from pots from the previous year however Lel wanted grass and lavender in there, as well as a nice border between the grass and the floral borders so we did this then headed home. After Lel had gone I spent a bit of time out there clearing a bit further. Emma and Vicky had been away for the night but on their return they sledgehammered the flags up and threw them all into the skip. This meant that Lel and I could continue on Sunday morning and at 7am we were out digging the soil from under the flags, as well as going further round the edges and taking out more of the gravel edging. This was a real task as it was all chipped plate type gravel that had bound with the soil to form a concrete type edge.

By late afternoon we had it all cleared, edged the area where we wanted to put the lawn, rebuilt it with fresh top soil, topped up the border areas and planted them, then cut and laid the turf. By 5.30 on Sunday we had a front garden!! I couldn't believe how well we had done and how good it looked. I had had another weekend of doing jobs and wasn't too exhausted, and I had enjoyed myself. All small victories as well as showing people that I'm still me and can still do what I always could. We had a nice quiet bank holiday Monday in with the dogs and just relaxed.

Work was again uneventful for the week with the double trip to the vets for Harry's bum to be layered and re-dressed. Everyone is very impressed with him however he has a lump on his nose that may need to be taken off - had it not been for his tumour then we would have been more likely to leave it however given that he had his dressing off, nose in and ate the dressing both Lel and I are a little concerned that the tumour may have migrated.. We have therefore booked him in for surgery but will see Brendan before for a catch up to see what his thoughts are.

At the weekend we headed home again and went to look at a couple of campers. On the Saturday we saw a high top in Preston that would have felt like a coffin to sleep in the roof and was over budget by £2k but it gave us chance to drive one before going over to Thirsk. Had we not driven it with the handbrake on we might have done a little better!!!

On Sunday we headed over to Thirsk to try the camper, we got there 1130ish. Mum had explained that I am no longer allowed to drive but given the fact that this was a private sale and the lady had a lot of land, Elizabeth was happy for me to drive it. I turned her round and drove down the lane. Apparently at some speed!!! It was so lovely to be behind a wheel again. As with most Bongo's it's an automatic, 2l with LPG conversion which is really good. It looked quite clean with a good exterior, only a small amount of rust in one wheel arch and on the wiper blades. Both of which are able to be fixed. Lel had a drive and we both agreed that it was really nice. We headed to Thirsk to a cafe for lunch and the lovely lady in there gave me a photo frame for free, I didn't tell her my story but think she saw my scar. We did tell her that we had just tried a camper out and that we would be back the following week to collect it.. I was a bit nervous but remember feeling like this when we bought Kara and that was fabulous for a long time.

Friday 19 May 2017

8th May - 19th May


We had arranged when Harry was discharged to have him checked up and further laser treatment on Monday the 8th after work. Lel had agreed to work an 8-4 so that we could head straight over after work. I had left the dogs with Harry just wearing his usual attire, the curtains closed and the fan on as it was due to be warm during the day. Work was fine, I'm feeling good these days and finding the 6 hours ok at present. (I'm on 4 days, 6 hours a day until the 18th of June - to review then) Lel came to collect me at 4 and as I got in the car she said that Harry had eaten his dressings. I didn't fully understand what she meant but we had had to improvise with the dressings the previous day as we didn't have a large dressing so had stuck 2 smaller ones together as well as sticking one on above to cover the sore bit (Brendan had taken a biopsy from this area to check that it was just from the tape, not another tumour site) and Harry had taken a shine to the honey, bitten through his t-shirt and eaten 2 of the dressings leaving one attached only. Lel managed to get the wound re-covered fully and taped on but there was no sign of the dressings!!! The nurses took Harry through and cleaned him up and re-did his laser again. They were quite happy with what they saw and we were booked in for the Friday to see Brendan for full cystology result.

On Tuesday morning as we went downstairs to let the dogs out, I was taking off Harry's 'romper suit' and Lel walked into the room and said 'what's that?' It appeared that Harry had brought back up the dressings thank god. Having seen the size of them I'm so glad he did as had he passed them the other way I think it would have blocked him up or caused major problems. He did later prove on the walk that it was him who had eaten them..... As I dressed him that day I put a thick pair of tracksuit bottoms on that dad had given me along with the 'lampshade'. I was hopeful that this might discourage him from trying to get to his honey and let me work without being quite so worried. I headed off to oxygen as usual for an hour then on to work. I finished work and got home round half 4 and was very relieved that he had coped for the day although I would imagine he had been rather warm.. Julie was over in the evening as usual to help with the dressings which was very helpful as the better he feels, the less he stands still!!

Wednesday and Thursday passed without incident. I was feeling heaps better having been off my chemo for a week. All side effects had cleared and I was totally back to normal now. On the Thursday I was trying to get hold of my doctors to try and find put what was going on with my colposcopy as I still hadn't had an appointment through and I had been told it was on the 15th.. The doctors were brilliant and phoned the hospital before getting back to me to tell me that an appointment had been made and I would receive it by the 17th of May. On Thursday when I got home Harry had managed to get his head round the lampshade and chewed the edge of his romper and a small hole in his tracksuit bottoms. He clearly was desperate to get to the honey.. I improvised and cut an old 'lampshade collar' up, attaching it to edge of the collar we were leaving him in, giving it an extra 3 inches length to stop his nose poking out of it and being able to shove into his pants. He hates me but it works and I feel much more confident about leaving him now.

On the 12th we were due back at the vets at 6.30. Brendan went through the results with us and they took Harry off for his dressings and laser whilst he talked through what had come back. These were as positive as possible. The sore bit was simply because he had had strapping put over it, the tumour was the least likely to metastasise elsewhere although he said he couldn't give us guarantees (which, as we said to him, more than most we fully understand). It also has the gene that would mean it is most likely to respond to the chemo that he suggested therefore he had contacted the manufacturers to ask when to start it. As he says, you want to start as soon as possible but there is a large wound that needs to be healed first. Brendan was very honest and said that by giving Harry the chemo, it may almost be off label as there is a chance that all the tumour has been removed however, since it is impossible to tell when it gets to cell level then we would prefer him to have it for 6 months as hopefully that will be all he needs. I had previously asked Brendan if he would give it to his dog and he said he would therefore I am comfortable that it shouldn't cause Harry too many problems and we can support him with homeopathy to help him through the next bit. As we took his pants down for his evening walk we found a flea on his bum. I had treated Jade the previous week and hoped Harry wouldn't get got but...

On the morning of the 13th, we asked Vicky if she would come over at 10 so we could pop out for a bit. We headed out shopping and for some food and normality. It was lovely again and we are ever so grateful for the support of our lovely friends and neighbours. We got back round 2.30 and were so happy to have been into the real world.

On the 14th we had very little plans other than to de-flea the house and dogs and to rest. We started round 11.30 and had finished by 2. We chilled out for the rest of the day and had a nice relax as it has felt relentless for a bit, early mornings and twice a week to Leeds for the vets. They are too good to change and find someone nearer but it's a bloody long way to go. Lel however is amazing with the driving now thank god. We would have struggled had she not sorted her motorway confidence out.

We were back at the vets at 6.40 on Monday night for more laser and a re-dress. Everyone was really impressed with how he has got on. Catherine and a nurse I didn't know were doing the re-dress, as I went to the loo I saw Billie by the desk on the phone who, having seen me went straight up to see how he was getting on, also Laura (one of the vets) went in to see him and have a hug as she didn't have a client in! It's so lovely that he is so loved and cared for there. We booked the next 3 appointments through so we know the times and who we're with which feels more organised and helps me.

Tuesday the 16th was oxygen and duty at work when I got in. We were nice and busy but it felt ok still and I managed happily. I wasn't stressed about how he was going to be when I got home with the extra large 'lampshade' on as I know he can't get in to it.

Wednesday 17th - no letter regarding colposcopy, no dressings that had been ordered on Saturday and were due.

Thursday 18th - phoned the doctors who phoned the hospital and sorted my appointment for a colposcopy on the 24th of May at 10am. I'm so glad that it's finally sorted out as I hate having other things hanging over my head especially as I have read there can be a link between HPV and tumours elsewhere. I really had hoped that my cervix would have behaved this time! Still no dressings, have to use melolin and got Vicky to come over and help as he is so full of it at present.

Friday 19th, this is where we are up to date now. As usual, I've had the day off and done the washing, cleaning and have sorted Harry's bag for the vets for tonight. His dressings arrived today which was good as we had to improvise last night which I wasn't happy with. We've decided to head home for the weekend and to go to Otley Show tomorrow for a nice relax. We've both realised that we have to do things together that aren't dog or cancer related at all as it has become very hard over the past month and too stressful for both of us. Harry's bag is packed for the weekend too with all his dressings in and a change of clothes!!

My next chemo is the 7th of June with my MRI on the 9th of June so got a line up of appointments. In the mean time, we're at the vets twice a week next week and we'll see next Friday whether they think we can drop down to once a week or whether we have to stay at twice for laser.. He is healing really well but still has a long way to go. I'm much more relaxed now about him as I know he's going to be fine and I can start to focus on me again. I've not been on the re-bounder since this started as it's hard to walk them both in the morning when he's so giddy, I've hardly used the sauna which is really important for my vitamin D levels so again, I need to start using this and prioritising me again. Next week looks like an easy one, but we've all heard that before. I'll update on Friday the 26th!!

3rd May - 7th May


On the morning of the 3rd of May my rash had gone down so I continued on my piriton, took my chemo and headed into work for the shift. It was the only day I would be working in the week due to being at the vets on both Thursday and Friday with Harry so I covered duty for the day. It was feeling quite nice to be out of the house and doing something 'normal' for the day as well as working and doing what I know I can do. My brain is back up to speed and I find duty cover very similar to how I used to pre-diagnosis, surgery and treatment. Julie came back up again to help with Harry's dressings and agreed that now it had been cleaned up it was looking better. We explained that he was planning re-constructive surgery which she agreed should help. By this stage Harry was wearing his dressings, tena pants, a long sleeved t-shirt with the arms cut short and the pet medical suit.

After dinner we took the dogs out as usual and just before bed Lel told me that my lips looked funny. I was aware that I had had an itch by the outer corner of both eyes however I wasn't too worried by this. As we went to bed, I looked at my lips and they were starting look very puffy and swollen. Having had anaphylactic reactions in the past I knew that I could still breath fine so wasn't too concerned at this time. I continued to take the piriton as advised and we went to bed.

On Thursday the 4th of May as we got up, I can only describe my lips as looking like Lesley Ash's lips post surgery!! I also had a massive rash on my torso from above my lips all the way round my back with the only area not covered being directly over my abs. It didn't hurt but it was very odd looking and clearly not healthy. I was very glad that I wasn't going to work as I looked shocking. I phoned the chemo line who advised me not to take my dose until they had spoken with a registrar and called me back. At around 9 the nurse called back and told me not to take the dose, to take them with me to my next appointment and to take some more piriton if needed. She said that if it was an emergency to go to A&E but other than that, speak to the doctors but that they would discuss further use of procarbazine at my next chemo session..

Dad came over again round 9.30 and we took Harry and Jade over to the vets. Brendan was encouraged by how Harry's bum was healing and after a laser treatment and re-dress he said he would be happy to operate the following day.

On the 5th of May, dad was back over early doors to take us over to the vets. We took both Jade and Harry again as mum was staying at home with Toby. Due to his surgery we didn't give them breakfast and left Harry there at 9.30. Brendan reckoned that he would be out of surgery by round 2 or so and to call after that. At 3 I still hadn't heard so phoned and spoke to one of the nurses who said that it had gone well and Harry was in recovery coming round well. I asked whether we would be ok to come over as soon as Lel finished work which they said was fine. I asked whether Vicky would mind coming to sit with Jade so that we could have the whole back seat for Harry given that he would be likely to be a bit dopey still. She landed round half 4 so we headed over there to collect him.

Brendan saw us for the discharge and said he was happy with how the surgery had gone. He showed Lel pictures of what they had done and she was really impressed. He said that they were still waiting on the full histology results but it appeared that they had got all the tumour out and they were just waiting now to see if he had the right gene to allow the chemo to work.

As we got Harry home, we took his pants off and took him out for a walk to get him to do a wee as Hazel had been concerned that he hadn't done one since surgery. We took him for a gentle walk around the block, he did a poo and a wee. As we got him back into the house and started to dress him, his eyes glazed over and his legs gave way and he collapsed on us both. Having been told that he fainted after doing a week after his first surgery I wasn't took bothered as it seems to be his party trick! He's a softie!! We dressed him and carried him into the lounge and lay him on his bed. He was out for the count for the rest of the evening.

We had arranged for Emma and Vicky to come over on the Saturday to give us a day out. We both needed a cancer free day to relax as with Harry now having had his tumour and my latest flare up we both felt we wanted some peace and quiet away from it all. At 8.30 Emma came over and we headed up to Windermere for the day. We headed over to the far side of the lake and for a wander on the shore line to relax before heading back over to Bowness for some lunch and to buy a pressie for Emma and Vicky.

We got back around 5 as we had arranged for Julie to come up to help us with the dressings change. She was so impressed with the job that Brendan had done which really reassured me as I still couldn't look at it.

On Sunday the 7th, Emma popped over for a couple of hours so we could do a bit of shopping and not have to worry about Harry as he was starting to look like he wanted to get into his dressings. As well as the dressings he was having high grade manuka honey on it which he appeared to have a taste for... The consensus is that he needs his name changing to Winnie (the Pooh)!!